After She Said Yes Page 9

  Aurora arrived at the restaurant at 6:00 p.m. She could see from outside of the restaurant that Jason was already there, sitting at a table, when she walked into the downtown restaurant. She lifted up her jacket sleeve to look at her watch, making sure she wasn’t late. The feel and look of the restaurant was similar to an older Spanish style restaurant from the 1800s, though it was Peruvian. The windows had white curtains draped on each side. The sun was gone by then, so the lighting in the restaurant was dim. It had a romantic feel to it. She saw that Jason was sipping on a glass on red wine when she walked in.

  Aurora walked up next to him and touched his shoulder; he jumped up and looked behind himself.

  “Oh, you scared me!” Jason said.

  “Oh, I am sorry.” She giggled like a schoolgirl. Okay Aurora, grow up now. He is already ten years older than you. Don’t make the age difference that obvious.

  “It is okay.” He stood up as Aurora took off her coat. Her hair was tied back. A pair of pearl studded earrings fit perfectly in her small earlobes. Jason could not help but stare at her, starting from her eyes, then following the curves of her body that her black dress outlined, all the way down to her leather boots.

  “Wow. You are gorgeous,” Jason said.

  Aurora’s face grew red as she sat down; Jason pulled out Aurora’s chair, then put it underneath her. Wow, such a gentleman! I could get used to this, Aurora thought. She said to Jason, “Thank you.” Jason sat down and took a gulp of red wine.

  The waiter came and showed Aurora the wine menu and asked Aurora what she would like to drink from the menu.

  “No. As tempting as it sounds,” Aurora said, “I don’t drink alcohol. I will just have water.” She could tell Jason was staring at her as she ordered. Her cheeks remained as red as his wine the whole dinner. She turned from talking to the waiter and looked at Jason. Then their eyes locked for a moment.

  “So, how was work today?” Jason said.

  “It was good. It went slow. I feel Friday never goes fast enough.” Aurora replied.

  “I agree.” Jason said with wide eyes, “Wow, Aurora. You just look so gorgeous tonight.”

  “It must be the lighting.” She smiled and they both laughed. Why am I falling for his charm?

  Jason said, “No, that’s not it. You have this je ne sais quoi.” In French, that referred to a quality that could not be easily described.

  “Tu parles français?” Aurora asked. It meant, “Do you speak French?”

  Jason was stunned and replied with, “Pas beaucoup, juste un petit peu. J'ai étudié à l'étranger en France.” It translated in English: “Not a lot, just a little bit. I studied abroad in France.” Aurora was fascinated that he spoke French.

  “Oh, nice. I went there during college over one winter break and took a class on French literature and learned some French.” She thought, I just learned why French was really called the romance language.

  Jason said, “Oh that’s nice. The people in France seem to think it’s rude if you don’t speak French when you are in France.” Aurora rolled her eyes.

  Aurora responded, “Yeah, some Americans feel that way about speaking English in America. I feel it’s so stupid to think that way, but I digress.” Aurora was passionate about political matters, but didn’t want to engulf the subject that soon into their relationship since this was their first real date and all, though she kept telling herself it wasn’t a date. “Anyway, let’s not talk about politics,” Aurora said.

  “Good idea,” Jason said as he cleared his throat and sat up straight in his chair.

  The waiter brought Aurora her water and asked, “Are you two ready to order?”

  Aurora looked at the waiter and smiled. She realized she had been so engulfed in the conversation with Jason, that she hadn’t even looked at the menu. She usually got ceviche, but she would not that time because she wanted to avoid having stinky breath. So, she had to look at the menu that time. “No, not yet.”

  “Okay, I will be back in a second.”

  Aurora said to Jason, “So, tell me about yourself. What are your hobbies?”

  “Well, I love to work out.” She thought, of course he does. God, please tell me he is not a gym bro. Jason continued, “I work out every day after work. I have lost almost a hundred pounds in the last two years.”

  Aurora thought, the weight loss could explain his bad posture. Aurora hated when someone had horrible posture. However, she was intrigued by Jason’s weight loss. She thought that was pretty amazing. Is this why he is single and not married with kids?

  “Wow, Jason! That is impressive. I am sure that was tough,” She said.

  “Yes, it was tough, but I am pretty proud of myself.” She figured Jason must be pretty confident with himself if he was open to talk about something that he may have been insecure about. Aurora wished she had that confidence to tell him she was married.

  “Yeah. That’s awesome! I love to work out too, but I have been slacking on working out since I moved. I used to be a gym rat.”

  “Oh. You just moved to Madison?” She immediately felt regret for saying she moved.

  Aurora started to get flustered. She didn’t want to say anything wrong. “No, I didn’t move to Madison. I moved away from Madison. But I am moving back soon. I have a realtor looking for a new place for me.”

  “Oh, what happened? Bad roommate?”

  “Uhhhh…” My ex-roommate was an abusive sociopath, to say the least. Aurora said, “You could say that.”

  “Well, I don’t want to pry.” Too late. “…but my cousin told me about what happened. I am sorry.” Aurora was annoyed because she didn’t think that growing up in a small town would still come back to haunt her after high school.

  “Wait, what cousin? Your cousin told you what?” Aurora was still trying to be coy, but she figured he knew about the divorce or her still being married.

  “My cousin is Cynthia Jackson.”

  Oh crap! He knows everything then, Aurora thought. She felt sick to her stomach and felt numbness at her temples.

  “She was visiting a couple of days ago, and I told her I was seeing someone from up north. I told her your name and she told me she knew you.”

  “Yeah, she was my best friend in high school.” Aurora was still shocked that she had no idea she and Jason were connected in such a close way. Aurora lowered her head and became extremely disappointed. “So, I guess Cynthia told you everything then, huh?”

  The waiter came to the table to take the order but clearly felt like he had walked up to a serious conversation that he probably shouldn’t interrupt. Jason made it easier by ordering for both of them.

  After the waiter took the menus and walked away, Jason continued saying, “She told me that you are getting divorced.”

  Aurora took a big gulp of water and thought about drinking the rest of Jason’s wine. Jason reached out his hand to hold Aurora’s. She stopped breathing for a second. She looked at his hand grabbing onto her fingers. His hand was warm. Hers were cold and clammy from drinking from her water glass.

  Jason started to rub her hands with his thumb. “Are you okay, Aurora?” Aurora was still looking down.

  Aurora said, “Yes, I am fine.” She started to laugh hysterically. “This is a conversation that you would not normally have with someone on a first date.”

  Jason said with a grin, “Well, technically this is our second.”

  Aurora ignored his cute comment and still was hysterical. She pulled her hand back and put the napkin on her lap, while folding it half, making it a triangle. She started picking at her nails, which she typically did when she felt she was in an awkward situation. She finally looked up at Jason. “So, you are okay that I am still married and not divorced yet?”

  “That is correct. As long as you are okay with it, Aurora, I don’t care.”

  Aurora smiled. “No, I am fine.”

  She took a big breath. Aurora was so happy that they talked about that because it was bothering her. She knew they would h
ave to talk about it eventually if things got serious. Before the date, she played the conversation in her head that they might have about her still being married. She expected it to go a lot more smoothly, but as Aurora had learned with Gannon, nothing in life goes quite like you expect it.

  Jason and Aurora spent the rest of their dinner getting to know each other. In between each bite of food, they were laughing and smiling. Aurora could not remember the last time she had an adult conversation with such a smart individual.

  After dinner, Jason had the idea to walk on the path next to Lake Monona. It was one of the big lakes surrounding the city of Madison. Jason said that the lake was walking distance from his house. That better not be an invitation to come back to your place. Aurora drove herself and Jason down because Jason had walked to the restaurant. He said he walked almost everywhere, and his job was also only a few blocks away from the restaurant.

  Aurora and Jason parked in the parking lot. Her hands were freezing from holding onto the cold steering wheel. She got out of the car and her scarf almost blew off of her. It was so cold outside, that she could see her breath when she breathed. Jason got out of the car and walked out to meet her by the driver’s side door. He grabbed her hand. She stared at their hands for a moment. She still couldn’t believe she was dating again. Wait. You are not dating. This is not a date.

  Jason tugged on her right hand. “You ready, beautiful?” Aurora was blushing but it was too windy and dark for him to notice.

  Aurora quickly put a stocking cap on her head and wrapped her scarf around her neck. “Yes, I’m ready now,” She said but her voice was muffled from the scarf covering half of her lips.

  They started walking to a path and Aurora said bluntly, “So, since we are talking about so much personal stuff on this date, how are you still single, Jason?”

  It seemed like Jason was trying to avoid that conversation just like Aurora didn’t want to talk about still being married. Jason said back, “Well, I wish I knew the answer to that question, too.”

  Aurora was expecting him to say a little bit more. She said, “Oh, if you don’t want to go into it, I understand.”

  “No, it’s not that.” Jason said. “Well, my last relationship didn’t work out well. I mean, it was not as bad as yours.” Ouch. “But I was engaged and I found out she was cheating on me. I saw her texts and everything. I didn’t even want to look or anything, but he messaged her when she was sitting next to me on the couch.”

  “Hey, no need to explain. It could be worse. I caught my husband in the act with one of my friends.” She laughed out loud, but it was an awkward laugh. She remembered the abuse she had received from Gannon and she got scared about being in a relationship or anything serious again. She pulled her hand out of Jason’s hand. “I just want to put my hands in my pockets. My hands are so cold.”

  “Are you okay?” Jason asked, concerned.

  They stopped and sat on a bench overlooking the lake. The moon beautifully reflected off of the lake that was still made of ice.

  “I know something is wrong,” Jason said. “You can’t lie to me. I am a counselor.” He laughed. He probably felt very witty after that comment.

  “What do you mean that you are a counselor?” Aurora said. “I thought that you said you were a lawyer?”

  “Well yes, I am a lawyer, but in court they can also call a lawyer a counselor. I was trying to be funny and make light of the situation.”

  “Oh…” Again, you missed his joke.

  Aurora shivered as a gust of wind and snow came her way.

  “If you are cold, that is definitely something I can help you with.” Jason put his arm around her shoulders while still balancing his arm on the bench. Then he tried to put his arms around her waist and pull her closer to him. “I can help warm you up.”

  Aurora felt his warmth and for some reason felt like all of her stresses disappeared. She found herself not being able to have the courage to talk again, like she did when Jason had held her hand at dinner earlier that evening. Why am I so uptight! Relax, Aurora. This guy is perfect. Calm the heck down.

  Then Jason pulled her forehead to his lips, having to lift up her hat. His lips were soft and warm pressed up against her cold skin. Aurora felt like she had known him forever, or at least like they had been together for a while. She let all of her walls melt away and felt completely comfortable in Jason’s arms. This was the solace that she didn’t know she needed. At least then, she just needed someone to hold her. She held back her tears as she thought about how many years she had wasted with Gannon when she could have been some famous author or journalist.

  “Everything is going to be okay,” Jason said as he pulled Aurora closer to him. She then stood up straight and looked at him. She put her hand to his face and rubbed his beard. She loved beards and Gannon would never grow one. Aurora said, “Sorry. I love beards.”

  “So you are a lumber sexual, huh?” He laughed again. He seems to laugh at himself a lot.

  Aurora was confused by his comment and said, “What is a lumber sexual?”

  “You have to know. You read all of the time. I am sure you have seen it somewhere.”

  "Maybe I did see it somewhere, but my mind is blank".

  “Well, there are guys that sport a flannel and a beard. Then the lumber sexuals are the ones fanaticizing about a guy cutting wood with an axe and no shirt on, like he is a lumberjack.”

  “So, like a Paul Bunyan type?”

  “Precisely,” Jason said.

  Aurora remembered reading about it as if a light bulb came on in her head. “You are right! I saw it in a Buzzfeed article,” she said while laughing, then turned toward Jason again. She couldn’t stop staring at his soft lips. She continued, “I grew up in the north woods. I cannot help but enjoy looking at a handsome man with a beard.”

  Jason said, “If you think I am handsome, then I must be really good looking.”

  “Yeah, I guess you are. That is why I am still so shocked you are single.”

  “It is because I haven’t met you yet.”

  “Aw,” she said. “That’s sweet.”

  “Not as sweet as you.”

  “Okay, sly guy, I got it.” They laughed again and became silent and looked at the moon.

  Jason said, “The moon is beautiful tonight, don’t you think?”

  “Yes, it’s so bright out here.” Aurora looked around. “You don’t even need a flashlight to see outside tonight. The natural light from the moon makes it seem so bright outside.”

  “Yes, it sure is beautiful,” Jason said while he was looking at Aurora.

  “But not as beautiful as me?” Aurora and Jason both laughed.

  Jason turned Aurora’s face towards his and kissed her. Aurora kissed him back and it made her feel happy, but it wasn’t the first kiss she was expecting.

  But he is not Melih. She then pictured herself kissing Melih, and pulled back from kissing Jason again and sat there as the wind hit her face.

  Jason said, “Was it a bad kiss?”

  “No, it’s not that.” She felt numb and emotionless. Many thoughts ran through her mind. Jason kissed great, but she didn’t know how to feel. When she kissed Jason, she thought about how Gannon had tainted what love actually was to Aurora. When she saw love or romance, she saw it as a tool to manipulate her. She thought kissing someone would be a catalyst to manipulating her in the long run. But what she really did not understand is why the thought of kissing Melih had popped into her head.

  “Is everything okay, Aurora?”

  “Yeah, I’m fine. Just tired and cold.” Jason didn’t seem to believe her.

  “Okay, would you like to go? I can walk home.”

  “No, I will drive you. It’s freezing and dark out.”

  Jason and Aurora went back to her car. She drove Jason to his house, as he gave her directions from the passenger seat, pointing where to go.

  As they almost arrived to Jason’s, he said, “I am right there on the left.”

 
She pulled up to his place. He lived in an apartment building, although she was expecting a man of his age to live in some fancy house.

  “You live here?” she said.

  Jason said with pride, “Yes I do.” He saw Aurora yawn and asked her, “Do you want to come inside to have a cup of coffee? I know you live a little bit away. This will help keep you awake and warm you up.”

  “No, I am fine. I will stop at the coffee shop a few blocks down.”

  Aurora started to feel she was sounding uptight, but appreciated the evening that they had. She was happy to be able to talk freely about her life and relationship. She also enjoyed their intellectual conversation. She realized that she did have a good time and she shouldn’t let that kiss ruin anything.

  “I did have a good time tonight. I mean, I had one of the best conversations I had in a while. I felt very comfortable with you,” Aurora said.

  Jason felt that he was already being put in the friend zone, though that wasn’t the case at all. She just wasn’t ready for any physical contact with a man. She held Jason’s hand and she kissed him on the cheek good night. “Jason, I am fine. I had a great time tonight.”

  Jason still didn’t completely believe her, but he took her word for it. “Okay, thanks for accompanying me tonight. I had a lovely time.”

  Aurora said, “I am sorry I ended it so soon. I am just tired, Jason.”

  “It is okay. I understand.” He put his hand on Aurora’s face and she flinched like she had at ice skating rink. “Just message me when you are home.”

  “Okay, I will. Have a good night.”

  Jason smiled at her and said, “All right. You too, beautiful.”

  He got out of the car. Aurora watched him open the door to his apartment complex and then she left. She was worried all Jason wanted was sex because he was older than she was. She thought, why else would an older guy date a young girl like me? Does he want a trophy wife or something?

  That night, Aurora drove home feeling sad and mad all at once. Her face was red from the wind and frustration she felt for Gannon and Melih. She resented Gannon for making her feel so hurt. “You ruined my chance of ever feeling love again,” she said. Jason was so predictable, but she thought that Jason was safe.